Episode 9: Dr. Rachel and Jason Stein
In this episode, Jason Stein and co founder Dr. Rachel Sterry, discuss the life of the entrepreneurial parent as we continue to live through the Pandemic and as they navigate business and parenting with two small kids in a tiny home.
Join Dr. Rachel and Jason as they talk about:
Getting Country Botox
The Intersection of Parenting and Business
Dads and Moms and the Differences
Finding Your Flow with Kids
Connect with Dr. Rachel and Jason SteinWebsite: https://WellnessRenegades.com
Wellness Renegade Podcast: http://wellnessrenegades.podbean.com
Jason & Dr. Rachel
Mon, 8/30 4:41PM 32:18
parenting, kids, business, entrepreneur, creating, day, home, wellness, feel, rhythm, week, true, renegades, family, wireless, people, schedule, trailer, find, starting
Welcome to the wellness Renegade podcast, we’ll explore the crossroads of wellness entrepreneurs like you and me, who are committing to making money while living healthier lives, people who are going against big pharma insurance conglomerates and the mainstream medical world, we’ll be journeying into the challenges and breakthroughs it takes to own your own business, pave the path through the mainstream medical care and truly become a wellness Renegade.
It’s a pretty sunny day in here, huh? Well, you know, it is not that sunny.
But for those listening, they don’t see that you’re wearing glasses inside a trailer? Yes. Why? You say yes. Why? Well, because
I got attacked by bees. The other day, there’s a little honey farm essentially behind us. And what once every two weeks or so they come out and they smoke out the bees and they collect the honey from the honey combs and it really pisses them off. And I’m the one who suffers the consequences the most. They just sting me. So I got stung right in the middle of the forehead. Three on Tuesday, and today is Friday. Hmm. And the stinger got
stuck. I had to get it out with tweezers. And my full whole forehead swelled up. And then the next morning my eyes were swollen shut. So
Wow, it’s not as bad like I can open them. But yeah, I just think my glasses look better. The listeners can’t see but I really swollen puffy eyes. Yeah. But it’s, it’s like at least 75% better than it was can you raise your eyebrows?
We call this country Botox. cheap, cheap.
So you had a great topic for today? What do you want to talk about?
The parent PR newer? Oh, that’s a clever little. I haven’t heard that one before. Do you just make that up? No, it actually is a hashtag, I believe. Oh, there are a lot of parents that are entrepreneurs. Hashtag. Yeah.
And so what what, let’s roll up our sleeves and dig in because literally rolled up my sleeves. It’s funny. It’s something we’ve been doing for a while now. And
yeah, I’m curious what makes you want to talk about this?
Well, I think it’s something that we don’t talk about a lot. We talk about how much we enjoy our family. And we talk about business, but not a lot about how the intersection happens functionally. Hmm. And I’m sure there are others out there, especially with and although we’re starting to come back online and things are opening, especially through through COVID, and potentially more shutdowns coming if variants happen. And you know, we don’t know the future. But
I think that the intersection of parenting and business got a lot more poignant for people over the past year or so very true. Like when all like kindergarten, there’s going on. I just like to say kindergarten online is bullshit.
That’s funny, but how do you really feel?
I’ll tell you later. Okay. So So, yeah, I it’s a fascinating topic. Because being an entrepreneur, especially when there’s two entrepreneurs in the family, and there’s kids around, it’s a different rhythm for sure.
I remember being in work, and the older kids being in childcare. And that’s a completely different rhythm where you drop them off on before care and they’re there all day and then you pick them up and after care. And you’ve had your whole workday as, as an entrepreneur, the rhythms are just completely different. And so I’m curious, do you like it? Do you like being an entrepreneur, I can’t imagine you as a nine to fiver. Well, one, I do not take instruction well from others. So I just wasn’t made to work for anyone but myself.
And I don’t think that the type of parenting I enjoy would be conducive to that type of schedule. I think that part of the reason that parenting is so fun for me, and it is such a enjoyable rhythm is that I’m not like Alright, you guys have to be in the car in five minutes. We’re going to be late to this are like we make our own schedule.
And there’s an enormous amount of flexibility and
you know, we
Have someone who comes to hang out with them for a few hours, a couple days a week. And it’s those moments when I mean, there’s, you can’t see the layout, but we’ve got the tiny house. And then there’s a trailer, a little RV Outback, that’s where we are now. So she’s at the house with the kids playing outside. And, and I, you know, I have to walk here. So it allows for so much more freedom.
And I don’t think that that type of regimented schedule is normal or natural for kids.
The flip of that, though, is being able to turn off and that’s much easier for you than it is for me, like, cuz it’s easy to think about work in the evening. It’s easy, but think about work on the weekends, and you just have a really good
work time. Play Time, kid time.
Clock? Well, I think that is, for a few different reasons. One,
when it’s all of us,
it’s much easier for you to get distance, and the kids
play with me. Because they’re just, it’s sort of the rhythm we’ve created. So they know that when you’re upstairs, it’s kind of your own personal time. And I don’t think that were I to go upstairs, they would give me the same space and respect, they will follow you up there. And I I just can’t like I think we can all attest to the fact that when you’re trying to get work done with kids around either on the computer or on the phone, that’s when they start acting out. And that’s when you get that’s, that’s when just everything the whole card castle crumbles, they get upset, you get upset, because they’re not being respectful. And it just is awful. So I’ve I’ve learned through trial and error that I just don’t get worked on around the kids, unless I’m doing something that I can involve them in. Well, you support me in not getting work done around the kids as well. I know that every time I go to pick up my phone, it’s already turned off. Like you have a habit of anytime you see my phone rings, you you just turn it off, which is good. It’s a it’s a healthy thing. I do wish that in a tiny house. Besides the bathroom door, we had a tour in our room, because we’re literally the four of us are in 200 square feet. But you have your nice, beautiful
trailer I do now it’s this is relatively new that we have a trailer for a while I was going to the neighbors because we didn’t even we didn’t even have wireless on the property. And so I couldn’t gain access. And I was going to the neighbors and I was having to piggyback my phone on zoom calls. Because out here unless you
really upgrade your service. The wireless Isn’t that great? So I’m so happy to have a trailer to work out of Yeah, so two things about that one is in the evening.
You either before or right after dinner, I walked out to where the wireless is plugged in over it. Josh his work shed, and I just unplugged it. So there’s no more wireless. It’s true. Um, and to. I would argue that depending on the job that you have, you take a nine to five home with you as while you’re thinking about it, like if you have the type of job, I have plenty of patients that I’ve worked with that have a go to come home from and it’s still the most stressful, energetic drain. And they think about it on the weekend. They dread going on Monday I get still consumes them. Well, this is a relatively new
environment for workers like before, you know, cell phones aren’t that old. You just went home and the before the internet, I remember when I used to present meditation in the workplace at a hospital. And they just started having tokens that you could log on at home because they wanted to track the hours. I think what happened is they found out people are logging on so much that they just stopped the program. And now there’s no tracking for employees how much they do at home.
When I have an employee, as a client, I find the average is 65 plus hours for someone working for someone else rather than demonstrate 40. Now, getting back to the kids, it’s an interesting thing as an entrepreneur
Because I have to say being an entrepreneur in the country has been a different experience for me as being an entrepreneur and a parent in the city, I found in the city, there just seemed to be a lot of places to go, there was like, sports practices, and there was a birthday parties to take the kids to and there and everything seemed a bit farther and longer. Were in the country. I don’t know if it’s the distances any longer or shorter, but it just feels easier. Well, there’s definitely a more relaxed attitude, that’s for sure.
You know, it’s kind of like you joke about
Hawaii time or country time? Or, you know, there isn’t that structure, necessarily. I would say that far more families here homeschool.
that I know of, then, in the city, and, you know, in in Portland, I would let the kids play outside. But in the front yard, it was a little sketchier. Because, one, there was a lot of through traffic. So the car factor. And two, there was also
a lot of theft. So it just didn’t feel that safe. And here. I mean, last night, how long were they were outside? For what an hour? At least an hour? just completely naked, rolling in the dirt. It’s true. Like pretending to ride little toys, their babies. Yeah. And right now for the listeners there, too. And for about to be three and five. Yeah, it’s an interesting thing. What I do love about being an entrepreneur, is it’s really easy to take time off. So it’s really, you never take time off. Because even when you take time off, you’re working
on cars. Like we’ll take car trips, family trips, and what do you want to talk about? Oh, can we talk about?
hikes because I love business. We take hikes. Let’s ask each other questions. I’m totally being called out in public agencies, right? I love what I do. So I do talk about it a lot.
And I also like to problem solve it. But what I’m saying is, it’s easier to schedule, How often have I taken a Tuesday and taking the kids to the lake, or on a hike? Or like, yeah, or to
the park. And it’s like the middle of the week. But I’m like, oh, Tuesdays, I really can carve out that time easily, easily. So that’s what I’m talking about. Yeah,
it’s true. And I would argue that when the two of us spend time together, just the two of us, you’re more apt to talk or think about business. When you’re with the kids. They demand so much of your attention, they you aren’t able to so they actually provide you with an outlet, I have to say eight, they also aren’t interested at two and four. What I do or not, it’s good to be interested. No. I mean, they really like,
boy, we can throw rocks into the river for hours. So
that’s another thing about being an entrepreneur is it’s a good reset, to be outside. As a parent. It’s harder for me and this isn’t just because of the tiny house. It’s harder for me to relax in parenting inside than it is outside. Like, I love parenting, on hikes. I love parenting.
At the lake, I love parenting on outdoor adventures. And there’s something about inside that I just don’t always love it. Thank God you have me
for all those non Lake non hike times. And there’s really, I think there’s a big difference. Probably it’s a generalization but between dads and moms like you’re great at getting the paints out and like setting up the projects and I’m just like, let’s do Legos. Legos is easy. We can put them together we can take them apart and some of your projects are very elaborate. And
I think I have nervousness that like the water for the paints is going to tip over or you just do it outside. Yeah. So another outside activity.
So what other things come up
For you, when you think about being a parent and being an entrepreneur, well, I find that there’s an incredible amount of crossover in my business and my life, it, it feels like, you know, you’ve got those little graphs that show correlation, and causality. And I really do feel like my business has evolved. For those of you who don’t know, my business changed drastically when Cooper was born, because I realized that I didn’t want to go to the OT, like the drive to and from, didn’t work for me with him, finding care for him didn’t really work.
And I wasn’t willing to sacrifice the time.
And so I decided to shift up my model, go online, and then start doing group classes that I could take him to.
And so my business was essentially born at the same time as he was because I was finishing my website,
either right before he was born, or when he was on the carrier in front of me. And it’s evolved throughout the lifespan of both of them into, you know, family wellness, parenting, and it’s now expanding into, you know, keeping kids and parents healthy and functional. So, when I’m with the kids, it feels sort of like market research, if you will.
And then the way that I’m able to apply that to the work that I do feels really authentic, because I’m not telling people to do things that I’m not already doing. So you’re in alignment on that. Yeah, I appreciate that. I also appreciate
watching you parent
has created such an ease that kids should be included rather than pushed to the side. So one of the things I’ve noticed in wellness renegades, our, our online community, is that we recently had someone
give birth, and my old thought was like, well, we’ll see you in, you know, 90 days or six months or whatever. And it shifted that to like, no, bring your baby, bring your baby to the business meetings we have. And that’s worked out really well. Yeah, I used to do that with Cooper. I mean,
he was born on a
early in the morning. And then I joined the call from the hospital wireless,
that that later that day, he was asleep on me.
And I was on the heart crew call. Oh, yeah, you were. So that’s an interesting world to think of as an entrepreneur. What if babies and even small kids were included,
but they were able to be there in a way that weren’t ultra distracting for everyone else, because they just come in age when they become more of a distraction, more engagement. And that’s what I’m saying. Like, my business has shifted in, in many ways of like, I have done family workouts where I do workouts with the kids, and they’re at an age now where they can engage and I film them and can disseminate that to others who want to do movement. I’m really looking forward to our space being done because I’m going to start indoor classes because in the winter here, you can’t play on the playgrounds because they’re covered in snow. It’s just not an option. I remember the first time the kids were like, let’s go to the playground we find like you guys, the snow in two feet didn’t quite understand and they got there like we can’t play like yeah, so some indoor classes.
But I think that there’s this idea that kids need to be
just shuttled to the side and not included or they’re going to be and for me, I have used it as a positive of like, you know, finding my audience. And I think that the families and the women that I do the best work with are the ones who would like to find an alternate solution or an alternate lifestyle to the kind of, for lack of a better word drudgery that we’ve become to think of as normal. Yeah, that’s a great conversation because as wellness renegades, we’re really talking about creating your life on your own terms. And to do that, you have to go against the grain. You have to start to think what natural rhythms
Does my own business have what natural rhythm to my kids have? What natural rhythms did my family have? And one of the things that I’ve learned over the years is, in the
beginning, I didn’t really want to be that visible. And I started doing more video. And so pulling the kids, especially the older kids into videos, when they were younger,
was a process. In the beginning, there was like 100 takes, and I wanted them to be a certain way. And it was bad, it was bad. And after time, I was like, Oh, I can just roll with this in a way that it can be fun, or it’s not the right time to do it. But there’s something about adding the family dynamic, and the kids in video that was credibly
helpful, both in me doing something with them that I was enjoying, and to creating a avenue that I wasn’t seeing a lot of because if you get on LinkedIn, or if you see someone’s videos, very rarely are their kids in the video. And so it allowed me to to
finesse some of our brand, which is, we really are being a wellness Renegade means family and family can look like a lot of different things. But often it looks like
kids are involved. Well, I think it also brings authenticity, because to create visuals and video and content that excludes that, that excludes the kids feels like partitioning your life because on any given day, like Jason will start around eight and have a couple of calls and then come back in and re engage and then come back out. And then maybe I’ll go out and do a little work and he’ll be with them. So there’s very much this fluidity to the way that we create business and family. So leaving them out feels a bit like when you go on to someone’s Facebook page or Instagram page, and it’s just like this cultured crap. Like, I’m so perfect all the time, I’m shitting rainbows. And that’s not true.
Look at my meal and look at my new bathing suit and look at my new whatever. Yeah, there’s a lot of
false narratives. There’s a lot of inauthenticity online. And I would say, back to the parenting thing, I run into a lot of issues with mums who
they just don’t feel like they have the space or the time to be able to parent the way that they want to like the way that this system is for them isn’t working, but they don’t feel like there’s a way out, right. And for many of them, I’ve sat down to do the math. And they will talk about you know, like they have a little Etsy shop, or there’s something that they love
to do, or there’s something that’s calling them, but they have this nine to five job. And that’s where they’re getting their health care, and then they’re paying out of pocket for childcare. And when you do the math, it’s almost a wash their paycheck going to pay for the childcare, and so they’re only sticking with it for the health care. And I would say just get creative, because there’s always a solution. Um, you know, there is I also think that one of the solutions is not crowdfunding but collaborations with your community. homeschool is
really done a great job in this have shared resources. And really, you know, I often say together as veteran together as betters, absolutely true when it comes to parenting, really allowing safe people in your community to help with your kids.
to really take other people’s kids so that other don’t steal them so that other parents have a break. And really, I want to give a big shout out to the single parent entrepreneurs. Because that’s a that’s a hard avenue to own your own business. And being a single parent at the same time. I was there for a couple of years, and that was probably the hardest part of my life was trying to navigate all of that. And although I did have I did some teaching.
So I had a paycheck coming in as well.
Balancing all of it on your own.
A big shout out to you guys out there that are doing it. Yeah, I mean, whether you’re going to
From a job or you are an entrepreneur, and you’re creating your own path and content, at the end of a workday, there’s just a certain amount of exhaustion that is inevitable, no matter how creative you get with your schedule. And, and so I can attest that when Jason comes home, from a day of clients and writing and connecting, there’s just a period of, you know, quiet needed to reset, you don’t you can’t go from one to the other.
And I think that’s why so many people get snappy, or
have difficulty or feel that parenting isn’t fun, or their kids have spent all day without them. So the minute they see them, all they want to do is connect, parents just want a little bit of quiet. And so there becomes this like, acting out to get attention.
There’s so many dynamics involved. But
if there’s a way to sort of play tag, as I know that, for some people stay at home moms, when dad gets home or when your partner gets home, when the other individual in the home gets home, there’s this desire to like switch off, I’ve been on all day. And now it’s your turn. But if we can appreciate that everyone’s been on all day.
And if we could look at parenting as like, not having to be on I mean, last night, you were very clear that you just wanted some quiet in the house, and the kids didn’t really want to go outside. But as soon as they got outside, they were engaged and enjoyed themselves. And
we got to be inside. And so I think that giving giving kids a little bit more autonomy at a younger age is okay, we have created this
idea in our culture that kids need to be watched all the time, and they need to be enriched and like that they should be playing the violin at nine months. And what I find that there’s two pathways that parents do and that are not effective. One is screens, like, just give a kid a screen. And yes, there’ll be quiet and they won’t bother you. But they’re also destroying their brain, if they have too much screen. So and we do like the air quality here was really poor the past three days, yeah. And on the worst day, we did projects, until I was like we don’t have any more projects to do. And we’re in a tiny space. So I have old VHS is and we watched Mary pop like the original Mary. Yes. And you know, once every two weeks, they might get into I think our kids are way below the national average. That’s what screen you said. So be fun screens can be fun if they’re limited. So that’s one. And then the other is over activities of like, essentially, kids have to be scheduled from activity to activity to activity. And there’s this middle way that I don’t think we talk about enough, which is
a two and a four year old or whatever age your kids, maybe they’re 16 and 18
can independently get creative and create something if they don’t have access to the screens. And if there isn’t a start time and an end time, but they just get to explore.
And what I’m loving about the evenings, because this is starting to happen on a regular basis is I do like a little quiet in the evening. And the kids seem, it seems to be around 637 to eight o’clock. They just go outside and play. Yeah. And I can remember being a child and using my imagination and creating all sorts of games and playing with my friends next door and exploring and I don’t think that kids are allowed the freedom to do that as much as they used to be. And so one thing that I find that the older kids complain about a lot is they’re bored. And I think boredom in some ways happens because kids haven’t been allowed to explore their own creative like they’ve been so scheduled or they’ve always been given an activity that when left to their own devices. sleazy. Yeah, it’s really interesting because Jack’s 13 now he’s not bored when he’s building things. And Sierra’s 17 and she’s not bored when she’s baking. So they have creative outlets, I think they forget sometimes to use them. And it’s really interesting because as we’re having this conversation, I’m also realizing there is
There’s a parallel between thinking about your kids as an entrepreneur in freedom, and thinking of them as a nine to fiver. And having a set schedule of what’s needed when, and kind of what do
vary excited that kuiper may be starting a couple of days a week in Montessori, and you told me the teacher has them come for three hours, but there’s no set start time. So I really want coop to be around other kids his own age, because he loves it without me being the person because he’s with me 95% of the time. And I think it’s healthy for kids to have various outlets and and so there’s this Montessori school here and, and she does, the minimum requirement is two half days a week, which is six hours a week. So in October or September, he’s going to start and
it’s not like, okay, nine to 12, or eight to 11. It’s whenever you get there, and you can get there anytime from eight to whenever.
Then your three hours start from there. And so it’s really, I think, authentically following the principles of Montessori. Um,
I appreciate that. Because every day is different, right? So although we’re doing a pretty good job, by no means do we have this all figured out. So if you’ve listened to this podcast and you are a parent and an entrepreneur, we’d love to know your tips, your tricks, what’s working for you and, and where are the biggest challenges are and So reach out to us? Let us know. And then pictures and yeah, we’d love to see pictures of your family. So um, anything else you want to say?
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